The Number One Marriage Advice

When are there problems in a marriage? The answer is when both parties are in defence mode and no longer try to understand the other party during a conflict.

Standing up for ourselves is a real killer in a relationship.

It’s human nature to always want to be right. It’s human nature to want to defend ourselves against accusations or criticisms. It’s human nature to not take feedback positively. But we can rise above human nature by being mindful in our relationships.

Many relationships fail because one or both parties fail to try to understand what their partner is saying or how they’re feeling.

We are quick to disregard our partner’s request just because we don’t see the same issue with equal importance as our partner. And this immediately makes our partner feel small and unimportant to us. If it happens often, they will feel more distant from us, paving the way to a broken marriage.

So the number one tip for a happy marriage is: 

No matter how much you disagree, try to understand from your partner’s point of view.

And before I go, here’s Marriage advice from 1500 people. It’s a great sum-up. Have a read.

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Reconnect With Your Spouse With This Daily Routine

I’ve already admitted that my husband and I once felt like roommates rather than soulmates and I also shared with you the 3 habits that actually saved our relationship. Today I’m going to write about a daily routine that all couples should follow in order to keep the love going strong, ‘coz who doesn’t want to keep the fire burning?

Create a couple’s ritual

Let’s get real. Going out on a date once a week is a great idea, but are you really thinking about giving your time to your partner for ONLY once a week? That’s not going to cut it.

If your relationship is already rocky, a once-a-week date won’t be enough to save it. Relationship is a time-consuming and energy-consuming equation. And people in a healthy relationship are willing to put in that time and energy because that relationship is important to them. Is your relationship important to you? I already know the answer. You do too.

So, together with your partner, come up and agree with a daily couple’s routine. It doesn’t have to take up as much as half an hour or one hour each day, but if you’d prefer that, then that’s great! If not, schedule in at least a 10 minute couple daily routine. What do you both want it to be about? Do you want to have a couple jog in the morning or evening? How about a couple shower everyday before bed? You have to invest at least 10 minutes in each other, otherwise, who else is going to invest in your spouse?

Give importance to Hellos and Goodbyes

In my house, we have a habit of giving each other a hug and a kiss when someone is leaving the front door and when someone comes in through the front door from somewhere. Make it a habit to celebrate the return of each other so you both feel wanted. And it’s also sweet to make a habit of slow goodbye. Don’t rush out the door. Kiss, hug and wish one another a great day ahead and mean it. These are the moments that happen everyday.

These are the points where you leave each other for the whole day and come back to one another after a long day. Make them special.

Bring out the smiles and laughter in each other

What was it that you enjoyed  doing with your spouse before you had kids? I’m pretty sure you enjoyed having fun together, laughing about something together and you probably adored that smile whenever you saw it. Revive that positive feeling when your spouse is in your presence. Make each other smile. Watch a comedy show. Have an inside joke…

If you are able to do all 3 things everyday, I can guarantee you can feel that affection for your spouse again. A happy couple makes a happy family. Now go and make some love! I mean, like prepare breakfast or something :p that’s love.