Dear Husband… A Wife’s Humorous Open Letter

Dear Husband,

One of the happiest days of my life was the day we decided to be together for the rest of our lives. Since then, you’ve been an amazing partner.

Your embrace loosens my tensions,
your kiss on my forehead assures me that you are here for me,
your hand holding mine lets me know that I still have you by my side…

But dear husband, no relationship is perfect and neither is ours. Let’s get real here…

You are only safe every time I see ANOTHER pair of socks at the doorway because you helped me take out the trash that morning.

Seeing you SOUND ASLEEP whenever I had to feed the baby for the 5th time at night really made me want to murder someone but you’re still alive till this day because I still remember how you went out at 3 A.M. to take-away McDonald’s French Fries for me 5 nights in a row when I was pregnant, and you didn’t complain one bit. (I will forever be grateful… but if I had to wake up for the 6th time… well.. we’ll talk about that when it happens)

You ignoring me while you’re playing your games is a real turn-off but I let it be because I see how you willingly shop with me for hours on end when I needed to find the perfect dress… and yet I didn’t get any after 5 hours of searching…

That toilet seat? I’ll just live with it because I don’t put the seat back up for you anyway. We’re even on this one.

And you looking at that girl that just walked past… wait, what? no, there’s no forgiveness there, no matter how perfect you are. So DON’T LOOK.

And lastly, I want you to know that …

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The Number One Marriage Advice

When are there problems in a marriage? The answer is when both parties are in defence mode and no longer try to understand the other party during a conflict.

Standing up for ourselves is a real killer in a relationship.

It’s human nature to always want to be right. It’s human nature to want to defend ourselves against accusations or criticisms. It’s human nature to not take feedback positively. But we can rise above human nature by being mindful in our relationships.

Many relationships fail because one or both parties fail to try to understand what their partner is saying or how they’re feeling.

We are quick to disregard our partner’s request just because we don’t see the same issue with equal importance as our partner. And this immediately makes our partner feel small and unimportant to us. If it happens often, they will feel more distant from us, paving the way to a broken marriage.

So the number one tip for a happy marriage is: 

No matter how much you disagree, try to understand from your partner’s point of view.

And before I go, here’s Marriage advice from 1500 people. It’s a great sum-up. Have a read.

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Understand His Needs

It’s not unusual that in some relationships, the woman feels that her marriage is going fine while her husband feels otherwise. How could two people in the same relationship have different feelings about how well their relationship is doing? That’s because men and women have different love language and different needs. And more often than not, those differences go un-examined and ignored, leaving people who started off loving each other becoming a couple who resent each other or are annoyed by each other.

Today I’m going to address the needs of he-who-is-the-husband.

Space

Not all husbands need a lot of space. But it’s worth taking a look at this concept of “space” in a relationship. Some husbands want their wives to be right beside them all the time, involved in everything together. Others need some time to themselves to recharge, work on things or simply be themselves with their friends without having a partner by their side.

The first thing we women need to understand is that when the men want space, it is by no means a signal that they have run out of love for us, or that they are sick of us or that they can’t stand us. Different people enjoy being different versions of themselves. Some men might love being a husband and dad who sticks to their family, goes everywhere together and does everything together (like my late beloved father and my husband) while some men simply miss their time to chill and be “a guy” with their friends like they used to before we women came into their lives. It’s not that they don’t want us in that part of their lives, maybe they just treasure the way things are with their  buddies and do not want to mess it up by always bring their wife along. Some men like to be in their own thoughts, without having constant company. They might like to go fishing or hiking alone to recharge themselves.

Understand the level of space your husband needs, respect it and gift him that much needed space. It won’t make him drift further away, instead he will feel understood and it might give him a much needed recharge.

Sex

Do you ever wonder why there are more female sex workers that cater to male customers than there are male sex workers who cater to female customers? That’s because men are more into sex. Something in their biological genetic make-up programs them to needwant and enjoy sex MORE THAN the average female does.

Understand this, most men can’t live without sex but most women can.

Why does such an imbalance exist?! I have no idea. But since there is an imbalance, we might as well take note.

So now that we know what they need, it is up to us women to find that perfect balance with our partner of how much sex is perfect for one’s relationship. Too little sex will make the husband suffer, too much sex will make the wife suffer. So as a couple,

  • talk to each other openly about the expectations of sex
  • hug and kiss more to feel connected and close, this will naturally lead to more sexual attraction and therefore nurturing a healthier relationship
  • spend more time alone together, without the kids, housework or your phone

Trust

Something that every man wants in a relationship that he is serious about is trust from his woman.

Trust is one of the most valuable gift you can give to a person. Naturally, anyone would want to be trusted by the most important person in their life. So not only trust him, but show him that you trust him. And he will be a very happy man in a relationship.